Weeks 1-9

First Trimester
Weeks 1-9
Oct 19th was supposed to signify the last day of my period, approximately four weeks later I was eager to start my period and feel like I had put the miscarriage completely behind me and start anew. Well four weeks came and went and nothing happened. I figured my body probably just got thrown off of its normal cycle and agreed to wait one more week for normalcy to set in and if not I would contact the doctor. Well, five weeks passed and still nothing. The doctor prescribed me a couple of progesterone pills saying it should kick start my normal cycle but to make sure and take a pregnancy test before I began the pills. I didn't think twice about that part, I went and got the medication and (thankfully) on the way out remembered to pick up a test. I came straight home eager to start the pills and took the test. Fully expecting a - sign to appear, to my utter surprise a small + sign slowly started to appear in the window. I sat on the toilet with my lower jaw wide open just staring at it. Craig was in the living room but I couldn't even convince myself to yell, scream or anything else, I just sat there in disbelief and in awe at God’s timing. I quickly started to convince myself that it was a "false positive" or that my procedure was not done completely and it was still a positive from the previous pregnancy. I didn't know what to think but I didn't think in a million years that I was actually pregnant. I thought there was no way my body could normalize itself that quickly and be ready to to carry another baby. I literally sat thought of every reason why it couldn't be true.
On top of trying to convince myself that it couldn't be true, I was embarrassed that if it was true that we would have to admit that we didn't follow doctors orders. We weren't supposed to be trying until I had one normal cycle. You know me, I hate breaking the rules, especially when I have to admit it to someone and I knew that I would have to contact my doctor and let her know that the pregnancy test was positive. Craig assured me over and over that she wouldn't yell at us or refuse to be our doctor anymore, that we weren't the first couple that she has treated that this has happened to. Of course he was right. I contacted her and she had me come in right away for a blood draw for a HCG level and the results posted that same day and were well over 20,000! There was a baby! I was in utter shock all over again until I started thinking a little bit harder about the past week or two. I had been having bouts of nausea in the mornings and at lunch time but thankfully they were short lived and never made me think twice before then.
The next week the doctor ordered for us to come in for an ultrasound to make sure there was a beating heart in our little baby's body. I was so nervous for this appointment, poor Craig probably was too but he was given the job of sitting next to me and try to be calm and reassuring. We both basically just sat in the waiting room silent, while I nervously shook my leg and tapped my foot for what seemed like forever. We were called back to the ultrasound room and thankfully we had a familiar ultrasound tech who remembered us from the first time around. I layed down and and she started the ultrasound. There was our little blob! There was the awkward silence that followed after she located the blob and I knew she was looking for a heartbeat, then she found it, there was the sweetest little flicker of a heartbeat I'd ever seen! Relief, happiness, pure joy took over both of our bodies!
Craig and I were weary of spreading the news too fast as we thought we had learned from the first time around, so we decided that we would wait a little while to tell everyone and Christmas was only three weeks away and it sounded like the perfect present we could share with our families. Those three weeks of not telling were so hard though. I was all for not telling coworkers and friends but it seemed harder and harder to not tell my family.  I was scared and unsure and experiencing first trimester side effects and it was really hard not being able to tell my mom or sister. As the three weeks wore on my symptoms began to diminish and I began to get very worried about the baby. I would still occasionally experience some nausea but it wasn't regular like it had been and I literally drove myself crazy with worry. Craig and I would pray and pray knowing that worrying wouldn't get us anywhere but it seemed like worry would immediately take over. I told Craig we should have told our families from the get go because little baby Boggan sure could use the prayers, I sure could use the prayers, we sure could use the prayers.
The week before Christmas arrived and my first appointment to see the doctor was still three weeks away and I knew there was going to be no way of knowing the viability of our little baby before we were supposed to tell everyone. This is when I devised a plan that involved telling a little fib to the doctor to get another ultrasound. I conferred with few doctors at work and we all agreed that my mental health was more important that my moral standards of not lying. So I emailed the doctor and told her I had experienced some spotting and would need to be seen sooner rather than later to preserve what mental stability I had. She magically found room in the ultrasonographers busy day and fit me in the Friday before Christmas at 10am.
Thank goodness Craig was able to be at the appointment with me that morning because again I was a nervous wreck and again we went it and there it was, the most beautiful beating heart I'd ever seen! I had worried myself sick for no reason. God took care of everything, when it is meant to be it will be! Why can't I have this crystal clear sense of peace when I am in the midst of the the storm when I sit here and know that everything is in the Lords hands and He ultimately knows what is best for us?
Now we only had three days until Christmas to think of a fun and creative way to tell our families about our little miracle. To say the least my creative juices were not flowing! We decided to take a picture in front of the Christmas tree together holding our sonogram pic. With each family we waited to give the present to our parents as the very last present of the bunch. Harmon Christmas was first and there were tons of presents to open and kids ripping through paper and wanting to play with their toys immediately and I could hardly withhold my eagerness to give our present!! Finally my parents opened their last present and Craig passed my dad their real last present. Dad was supposed to wait on mom to open it but he opened it right up and struggled to read the writing on the picture and then made it out. Everyone screamed and jumped and hugged and us and I am pretty sure I cried. I was so happy and relieved that my family finally knew and could share in our joy! I knew within the day both of our families would know and it would be perfect, what I didn’t know is that a huge (for Texas) snow storm was going to blow  in and threaten to cancel our Boggan Christmas. Thank goodness Craig's family still made it through the weather and again we delivered the surprise in the same way and they were thrilled! I was so relieved that everyone finally knew!